Quandary

Ok.  Here’s the thing:  I’ve entered the world of “monetized” blogs.  And I need your advice / insights / opinion.

On this blog, ColoursofColor, I cannot post ads or other monetizing avenues.  The ads placed on here are done so by WordPress and all funds go to them.

To place advertising on my blog I had to buy my own domain name and get a host.  Surprisingly those can be done really inexpensively!

And so, MercifulDays.com was born.  I switched names because a friend said he can never remember where the “u” goes in ColoursofColor.  And the first rule of domain names is to be easy to remember.  After weeks of searching for available domain options, I am so happy to have MercifulDays!!

MercifulDays has a wider scope than ColoursofColor.  MercifulDays is a blog about food, faith, and things I love.  The beta version is up and running.  Check out www.MercifulDays.com and let me know what you think!

So comes the quandary:  What do I do with ColoursofColor?

1. Keep Colours going as is? Focusing solely on Faith writing?  But how do I link my two sets of readers?

2. Move Colours to www.mercifuldays.wordpress.com?  And run the same expanded content of “Food, Faith and Things I Love” on both MercifulDays blogs?

3. Close Colours and focus entirely on MercifulDays?  And lose my WordPress community

4. Another option???

What do you think I should do?  I need your help!  Write your thoughts below or vote on the poll!

Surviving

My eyes can’t believe the images of Oklahoma. That storm was a mindless giant. Wild and ruthless. Leaving nothing in its wake. Just rubble. Miles upon miles of rubble.

Can you even believe anyone survived? It’s incredible. Many are dead but many are alive.

I looked at the eyes of the interviewed survivors. I saw utter numbness. But all too soon that will wear off.

They survived a horror. And now they will need to survive. Every day.

When the adrenaline is gone. And the shock wears off. And reality is all-consuming. And the disaster relief fundraisers are long forgotten by the rest of us. When night terrors hold them. And the memories stay strong.

Survival is chronic. A marathon. A lifelong companion.

Oh how we need Yahweh. For we have all survived something. And we all survive every day. And humans were created to be fueled by His power and sustained by His Love. To attempt survival without Him is a desperate and bare journey. Oh how we need Yahweh.

My heart lays low today for those who were whirled and thrown by that storm. That storm and all the storms in our world today. The natural storms. Political storms. Storms of war. Storms of hatred. Whirlwinds of hunger. Displacement. Ruin. Disease. We are facing storms on all sides.

Today I sit hidden in Him, my Rock. And gather strength and hope from His Love. He holds me amidst the whirlwinds. He carries me when the storms prevail. And he will deliver me into beautiful eternity when my days of survival here are over. Oh how we need Yahweh.

Praying for my human race. That our eyes would see His Love. That our hearts would embrace Him. None should have to be without Him.

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah. (Psalm 62:5-8 ESV)

Enjoy The Time

It was a terrible sad cry. A mix of pain and desperation. It was coming from our child at 6:30am.

I brought her into my room so she wouldn’t wake her brother. I consoled her and she calmed down enough for me to ask why she was crying.

“I want it to be seven-thirty but it’s not… (wailing sobs began again)”

7:30 is play time. When her little digital clock says “7-3-0,” she knows that quiet time is over and play time begins.  Today 7-3-0 is coming too slowly.  Today 6-3-0 is unbearable.

Oh my sweet child. 

“There is nothing we can do to speed up time or skip ahead. You need to be able to relax and enjoy the time it is.” My words were not just for her.

Sigh. How often I do this. Wanting to be in a different season. A fun season. A season of playing and joy.  How often I lament the season I’m in.

This week I’ve been side-swiped by three days of weird doctor appointments. Each day another wave barreled over us.  And I am squirming against the oppressive weight of this week.

It feels unbearable.

After my daughters tears this morning, I have decided to do something practical today.

Amidst administering doses of medications to the three of us at home, I’m baking a cake.  A cake that we can all eat and enjoy.  Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, Sugars-Free, Soy-Free, Rice-Free, Oat-Free, Metal-Free.

Today, my friends, I am going to sit down and eat cake.  I am not going to clean the bathrooms.  I am not going to do laundry.  I am not going to work on anything.  I am not going to push and strive against this season. Today I can’t. I would wail. I would lament.

Instead, I am going to relax and enjoy the time it is.  I’m at home with my two little ones.  We are too sick to go anywhere.  But we can eat some cake.

I am not saying that the way to approach hardship is to do nothing and eat cake.  I’m just saying that today, that’s what I feel to do.

I’m going to enjoy the time it is.

_ _ _

The cake is cooked.  The kids are having their rest time.  The sun is shining.  And I feel good.

Funny thing is, baking a cake has changed me.  I was overwhelmed.  But now I feel hopeful.

Slowing down and enjoying my season has given me the joy and energy I was craving.

I think I’ll do a load of laundry.

You revive my drooping head; my cup brims with blessing. (Psalm 23:5b MSG)

Encouragement And The Stretch

It’s been a ridiculous week.  And it’s only Wednesday.  I probably need to have a good solid cry.  But who has time for that?

I rolled it all into a ball and tried to stuff it down low in my heart.  Because tonight I was leading a Bible workshop for the youth of our church.  I needed to have something of worth to give tonight.  All I wanted to do was go to bed and sleep for days.

This afternoon a friend of a friend messaged me.  She said that my blog had touched her heart.  Her encouragement was Holy Spirit breathed.  In perfect timing.  Today of all days, I needed encouragement not to get overwhelmed and give up.

So I got ready for youth group. And I went.

At church a friend told me that her mom had been reading my blog and had found much-needed encouragement.

I have to say, I almost laughed.  Because it was like overkill.  Like an overflowing cup.  Encouragement upon encouragement.  Ok, I get it God, sharing my journey of Faith is encouraging some people.  Ok.  Thanks.

Then youth group happened.  First workshop: Junior Highers.  Lots of them.  Sparkly eyed and energetic.  Giggly and chatty.  When it was over I needed a nap.  (How ever did I do youth ministry every week for years and years and years?) Second workshop: High Schoolers.  Lots of them too.  Calm and deep.  Sage and sincere.  When it was all over I wondered why God had even brought me tonight.  Did I say anything of any value? Was His Truth spoken?  Oh God, I hope some good comes from tonight.  I hope even just one of those amazing young people fall in love with Your Word.

And now I see why God gave me encouragement upon encouragement today.  He knew I would need it.

It’s always a stretch to step out into the opportunities God brings.  (Even if you were a Youth Pastor for a decade and then return to do a “simple” workshop. haha.)  It’s always a stretch because if it weren’t we could do it in our own strength.  It’s always a stretch so we feel how much we need God’s power and involvement in our lives.

Tonight I’m so grateful for His merciful encouragement today.  And I’m grateful for the stretch opportunity He gave.

I see Him and I see my need for Him.  Selah.

And one called to another and said: ”Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!” And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!” Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.”  And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.“  (Isaiah 6:3-8 ESV)

Please Don’t Correct Him

With a huge smile and sparking eyes, our 2-and-a-half-year-old threw himself into my arms shouting, “Happy Birthday Mothers!”

It was the best Mother’s Day greeting ever.

He is ridiculously cute.  Two-and-a-half-year-olds say the funniest things.  I love, love, love the things he says.

PLEASE don’t correct him.

I know, I know.  He’s “wrong.”  His language is “incorrect.”  He needs to learn the “right” way.

But, apart from me thinking it’s cute, have you seen all the research about language development in toddlers?  The common adult need to correct toddler language can actually discourage healthy language development.  As he uses words experimentally to express his feelings and thoughts, correction can invalidate his feelings and discourage future attempts. Language specialists say that the best way to help toddlers learn is simply to model correct pronunciation and grammar in our every day conversations.  Over time, he will learn the intricacies of language by listening to all of us.

At this age, it’s not the “word” that’s important, it’s the concepts behind the word.  For toddlers, communication is the highest goal not correct grammar. To adults, toddler language may seem “wrong,” but their ramblings are developmentally appropriate.  On Sunday, his little heart expressed a blessing for his mother with full joy.  He communicated using a concept he already knows and loves: birthdays.  His “incorrect” words were full of meaning and emotion. Way more meaning than if he’d simply parroted the right words.  He associated concepts and compiled words to express his feelings.  Bravo my son.  Bravo!!

Yes, correction is needed.  And it will happen.  But this is a season of attempts.  Of experiments.  A season to savor his cuteness.  There are many serious lessons ahead and correction will be given.  He is becoming a full-grown man but that takes a lot of time.  But for now we are enjoying these days of gorgeous childishness.

My child’s attempts delight me. Please don’t correct him.

_ _ _

My mother-heart is thinking about Abba Yahweh and His leadership of each of our sanctification journeys.  I’ve never thought about it until today… but as a Father, He must be delighted by our sweet developmental stages.  This amazing God of Grace and Mercy.  This God of Redemption and Transformation.  He must utterly enjoy our sweet attempts as we grow in Him.  As we worship Him, serve Him, Love Him, follow Him.

We see it woven through His Word.  He sees beyond our outside behaviors.  He sees our hearts.  He knows who far we’ve come.  And He is proud of His children.  His masterpieces.  His beloveds.

And I wonder: Do I ever give correction to His children without asking the Father what His plan is for them?  Do I point out “problems” just because I consider them to be problems?  Am I part of God’s Plan for developing people or am I administering my own plan?  Am I using common sense and experience-based wisdom instead of asking the Holy Spirit each and every time?

Oh friends. The weight of this is big.  For my son, someone’s well-intentioned correction could produce a language development problem.  For God’s children, someone’s well-intentioned correction could produce a spiritual development problem.  Or… even cause someone to walk away from God’s Love all together.

We have to give correction in the right way and at the right time.  And only Almighty Yahweh knows how and when.

Now. It has to be said: When something is wrong, it’s wrong.  Loving correction and coaching towards Truth is an essential part of our growth in God. And it is so important for Truth to be given when error exists. Right?! Yes. And God’s Word gives us directions and guidance about giving correction within the Body of Christ.

But, I am hearing the Father’s Heart cry out to me through my own motherhood journey.  Correction given in the wrong time is not good and it’s not godly. Just like our sweet 2-year-old is on a developmental learning curve, all of God’s children are on a journey with Him.  A non-linear, unique, God-orchestrated journey.

Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with – even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.   (Romans 14:1 Msg) [Check out the whole chapter: Romans 14]

I wonder if correction given outside of God’s Plan could be some of those “idle words” we will have to give account for?

Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. (Matt 12:36 Msg)

I wonder how often God is saying to me. To you. To us: My child’s attempts delight me. Please don’t correct them.

I’m Sure He Already Knows

Her eyes sparkled with delight. The yellow school bus in front of us had its stop sign deployed and red lights flashing.

“Wow!” She breathed in awe. “That. Is. Amazing.”

I love the way life enchants her. As parents, we love watching our daughter live. We love listening to her gorgeous insights. We love watching her learn and discover. We love the joy of her perspective. She is wonderful. And being in relationship with her is awesome.

I wished my husband was there with us. He would have loved seeing this moment.

“Let’s tell daddy what we saw!” I suggested.

Without a skipping a beat she responded in a low and serious tone.

“I’m sure he already knows about the stop signs, mum.”

_ _ _

“I’m sure he already knows…”

Oh baby you make me smile.  Your daddy doesn’t want to talk with you to learn something new.  He wants to talk with you to hear your voice, to enjoy your face, to share your journey, to catch your tears, to join in your thrills.

And there it is.  A reminder of an old lesson.  A fresh reminder about my relationship with God.  Because, her words illustrate a wrestle I have had about God.

You see, He already knows. Everything

How do you develop a relationship with a Being that sees your every move, knows your every thought, already knows everything about everything? What can you talk about to build a relationship with Him?

I understand prayers of confession. I understand prayers of petition. I understand prayers of thanksgiving. But, for me, all of those can be done from a relational distance.

A few years ago a friend of many years died suddenly. We met 20 years ago on our first day at university. We became friends instantly.  Over time she shared her painful story with me and asked me to pray for her to have healing and freedom. And so I did.  I prayed for her for years.  She reached out to me in times of desperation and despair.  And she would ask me about my God and His love.  But she never could choose Him for herself.  Instead she asked me to keep praying on her behalf.  And so I did.  Then she died far too young. The police report said it looked to be at her own hand. My heart utterly broke for her and her family. And I was at a loss. I had been praying for her for so many years. For healing and freedom.  For her to accept God’s Love.  Now I didn’t know what to do. In tears I called my boss and pastor.

“God exists outside of time. Can’t I keep praying for her to know God’s love?” I sobbed.

“No. You can’t keep praying for her. Her time here is done. She is in eternity now. But you can pray about her. And that’s what God always wanted anyway.” His words soothed and corrected simultaneously, as Truth always does.

And so I prayed about her. I talked with Abba Yahweh, my Daddy God, about my friend. About my memories of her. About how mad I was that she’d been through so many hard things and never found healing.  About how her friendship affected my life. About my grief.  About pain.  About other people I loved who didn’t know God’s love and the life that comes with Him.

God already knew everything I told him. He didn’t learn anything new as I prayed and cried in the months following.  But I did.  I learned the beauty and power of sharing my journey with Him.

It’s pretty easy to have a list of things to pray for. We can rattle them off without much effort. Without a real relationship with Him. But having a list of things to pray about is a totally different thing. It is not something that can be done from far away. It’s something that puts us close to the heart of God. As we share our feelings, it builds the loving relationship with Yahweh we were all made for.

Today my sweet daughter reminded me of this beautiful truth. Remembering to take the time to be with Him and talk to Him about things.

How are you?  Today, right now, is the perfect time to talk about things with Him.

Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away. Come to me!. O my dove – leave your seclusion, come out in the open. Let me see your face, let me hear your voice. For your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.  (Song of Songs 2:13b-14 ESV & Msg combined)

Rest Not Wrestle

Like an angry lava flow inching along a slow switchback course, hundreds upon hundreds of tired people were forced to conform and wait. Eyes glazed over. A massive room of silent, desperate drudgery. Huddled masses yearning to breathe free.  O Statue of Liberty, the LAX Customs and Immigrations lines are incredibly difficult to endure after such long, long flights.

His guttural two-year-old screams said it all. As we waited for our turn to present passports and customs cards, my sweet toddler had a total meltdown.

Nothing helped. Exhaustion was master. His ears unable to hear my soothing words.  His body unable to relax in my arms.  His mind unable to choose rationality.  He just wanted to escape the pain. If only he would have let me help him.

 O my baby, I’ve been there.

Utterly overwhelmed by the journey. Emotionally, relationally, spiritually, physically. Done.  Yes. I’ve been there so many times.  Hmmm… I’ve been there today.

Reminding myself to lean close to my Father. To hear His soothing Words. To fall into His arms. To choose His comfort. To reach for His goodness. To stop fighting against the journey and trust Him to be good amidst it all. To rest not wrestle.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NLT)

Lazarus, Emma. “The New Colossus.” Emma Lazarus. Esther H. Schor. New York: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, 2006. 11. Print.